In a Good Place with God

Transcript- In a Good Place with God

Relationships Div II – Part II

Reverends Diana P. Cherry and Michele Owes - hosts

[00:00:00] Rev. Michele Owes: Welcome, welcome, welcome back. We are so excited to be with you again. Mrs. Cherry and I had an opportunity to go over some of the things that we discussed in our last podcast about relationships. I'm going to give Ms. Cherry a chance to say hello to you. Then we're going to clue you in on some of the funny stories we discussed while we were on break.

Rev. Michele Owes: Mrs. Cherry.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Hello. Hello. Hello. Again, I'm so excited about what we have shared with you and about what we are going to share with you in this session. I'm super excited about this one. I'm excited about what's going to happen on the retreat. Can't wait to see you all. But right now,

Reverend Owes has some things to say based on what we have shared in the previous sessions [00:01:00] on relationships. She has some things that I think will make a lot of you free. I just love the story that she just shared, and I know it's going to bless your heart. So once again, open your heart, and know that we really do have your best interest at heart. Know that there's nothing you are going through that one or the other of us has not gone through. We can really be touched by the feelings of your infirmities. We can be touched by the emotions that you might be having. And we're not here to judge you. We’re in a judgment-free zone here.

Rev. Michele Owes: Yes.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Just get yourself a nice cup of chocolate, coffee, or tea. Prepare your heart to be blessed as we continue sharing relationships. Remembering that a relationship is a position that one holds with respect to [00:02:00] another person, out of all relationships, there are expectations. Sometimes we have things in our minds that we never discussed with the other person, and so they end up being unmet expectations.

Rev. Michele Owes: Mm-hmm.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Unmet expectations can often lead to emotional failure, and we don't want that to happen. Prepare your hearts to receive as we share once again about our relationship division.

Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. When we left off, we were talking about making sure that we understood that our relationship with God through Jesus Christ was the most important relationship that we would ever have. And from that relationship, all other relationships can be productive, fruitful, and meaningful in our lives.

Rev. Michele Owes: We talked about the fact that, as women, it's not our job [00:03:00] to find a husband, but it's his job to find a wife. We also said that we don't have to go to places to be seen. When our heart is right and God can trust us to care for one of his men, God knows how to find us. He knows how to locate us.

Rev. Michele Owes: One of the things that we also shared was that God's love for us is unconditional; it's unchanging. I shared a story with Mrs. Cherry, and I'm going to share it with you. I had the privilege of being a part of a Bible-believing, Bible-teaching church. And in that privilege, I learned some things about being a woman and about being God's woman. I learned that my merchandise was good, and I needed to ensure I didn't let people [00:04:00] test-drive my merchandise. I had to understand that God had created me fearfully and wonderfully marvelous are the works of his hands. Unlike the thought process prior to going into the relationship with my husband, I used to think there was always something wrong with me when the relationship didn't work out. I always carried the burden of the blame for why somebody didn't like me enough for A, B, C, D, and E. Once I established a close and personal relationship with God through his son, Jesus Christ. I realized that those relationships were not working out for me because my Heavenly Father had not ordained them for me. Those were good experiences that I could learn from. Those were things that allowed me to say never again. Those were things that [00:05:00] were on my journey. They weren't my destination.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Good.

Rev. Michele Owes: By the time I met my husband, I was the person who was in church when the church doors opened. In fact, I had asked my director if I could change my travel schedule because I traveled 90 percent of the time, so I left on Wednesday morning. I agreed to stay over at my job sites till Saturday because I didn't want to miss Bible study. He asked me why and I said, because I don't want to miss Bible study. He looked at me strangely. I said to him, I'm growing, and I'm learning to be a better person in church. I said you can only benefit from the person that I'm learning to be. He agreed.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Wow.

Rev. Michele Owes: My husband was the first person who ever prayed with me. We were going on a trip to Georgia, and before we were driving, he said, [00:06:00] let's pray. And I mean, we literally got on our knees, and we prayed about the trip and everything.

Rev. Michele Owes: I was already like, this is the first time a grown man had prayed with me. It let me know he had a relationship with God, right? Fast forward. My husband proposed to me. He goes on to travel alone as well, and he goes on a trip and comes back, but he is now uncertain. I'm picking him up at the airport, and while I am driving back to his apartment, he is explaining that he's uncertain whether he wants to get married.

I want to talk about how much I have learned to love God and how much I have learned that God loved me. Because of that relationship that was being developed in the midst of this, I had a response for him, which completely [00:07:00] shocked him. My response to him was, I don't want to be your wife one second before you are ready to be my husband. Also, I thought that you were the one. If you are not the one, I am so excited to meet the next one because God has brought a person better and better and better each time. I thought you were the best. I am so excited to meet the next one because he's going to be a humdinger. He doesn't quite know how to take my response, but I'm laughing and I'm talking about how good God has been to me. I want to say it's the first time I've ever had that kind of courage in a breakup. I was considering this a breakup. I wasn't considering this as we can continue. No. If [00:08:00] I'm not marriage material, then we are done. I was so confident in the God who I learned about at my church, who created me, who loved me unconditionally through all my faults, the God who saw me through every breakup, answered my every prayer, and wiped my every tear. I was not about to let a man mess that up for me.

I went home; I got all the gifts, trinkets, and things that he gave me. I went outside of my apartment complex. I dug up a little hole, and I had a coworker who lived upstairs. I asked her if she wanted to attend a funeral with me. She's like, what are you talking about?

Rev. Michele Owes: I said, just come down. She came down, and I dug up this little hole. I put in all the gifts and things that he gave me, and some of them [00:09:00] were expensive, and she's like, everything. I said everything. I even had some little plastic flowers at the house, and after I dug up the stuff, I put the plastic flowers in there, and I did my version of a funeral. Herein lies the goods from such and such and such. He was a very good man. I was saying, God, I know that this is not what you planned for me at this time. I'm not going to break down. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to think anything is wrong with me. I'm going to let this go because this is your way of telling me this is not the one. I'm going to look forward to our next move, whatever that is. I'm going to put on patience because God, I did think he was the one. I told God what a nice guy I thought he was.

Rev. Michele Owes: I let God know what I was thinking, which He already knew because He knows our thoughts afar off. When I returned to my [00:10:00] apartment, my phone rang. It was him. He asked me what I was doing. I said I had just come back from a funeral. He said a funeral, and I explained that I had held a funeral for him. It was a very upbeat funeral. There was a lot of laughing, and I said, I spoke very highly of you because I thought highly of you. I wanted you to know that we're closing it; I've done the full closure. He didn't quite know how to take that. But I don't want to leave you with how he took it. I want to leave you with how I felt knowing that I was God's daughter and God had a better plan for me. What ended up happening was God made him a better man better for me. The fact that he knew I was not just going to put up with anything or take anything was good. My husband [00:11:00] happened to be one of the top 100 bachelors.

Rev. Michele Owes: I can't even remember what the magazine was.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Rev. Michele Owes: I was not in a position at that time to let who he was override what God wanted to do in me. Mrs. Cherry and I are talking about this when we say can God trust his heart with you. I didn't curse him out. I didn't belittle him. I didn't make him feel bad. I thanked him for letting me know before the altar and before we would make any heavy-duty commitments to one another. I don't think he'd ever been thanked for breaking up. I was in such a good place with God.

We want you to know that you can be in such a good place with God. You won't [00:12:00] miss what you don't have. You won't lack any good things. The Bible says that God will not withhold any good thing from us. At that season of our relationship, he wasn't ready. It would have been like pulling fruit off the vine before it was ready. We'd like to go ahead. It looked like it was ready. You bite into it and it's bitter. I had to leave him on the potter's wheel with my Heavenly Father and let God work the work that He would do in his life. I needed to know that I would survive, and it was well in my life. We weren't the two becoming one. I was still an individual, and so was he. That was the best breakup ever. God was in the midst, protecting my heart and navigating my thoughts. And I want you to know that God can be in [00:13:00] the midst if you will allow Him. He will protect you.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes.

Rev. Michele Owes: He will.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes.

Rev. Michele Owes: I did not weep that night. It was probably the first time I did not weep during a breakup. I was having a good time and just like, wow, God, this next one. I can't reach my meeting. I was like, no, let me slow down because the day with you is like a thousand years. I don't have that conversation. I'm not to go off in my imagination on who the next person will be. I'm just going to thank you for allowing me to meet someone who respected me and treated me well. I'm saying to you, God knows who you are. He knows what you deserve. We don’t have to tell people what we deserve. You have to know what you deserve and then respond accordingly. Some people will think she was absolutely crazy for holding a funeral.

Rev. Michele Owes: My co-worker who lived upstairs thought so, but it [00:14:00] was what I worked out with my Heavenly Father to help me. It was something that I needed to do not to be stuck in the place that I was. I don't want you to be stuck. Mrs. Cherry and I want you to know that your relationship with your Heavenly Father can guide every relationship to the point that a man can't break your heart because God has mended your heart. He's renewed your mind to know who you are. You are his daughter, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Who you are is not determined by a man. Your heavenly father set your value. I learned all of this in my local church. If you are not in a local church.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Amen.

Rev. Michele Owes: You need to be in one. You need to know what the Word of God says about your life and who you are to Him. Let that [00:15:00] change or renew your mind so that no joker, I don't care even if he is a wonderful manifestation of God's creative ability, God's got you. And you can let that wonderful creation go on about his business as you live the life God created for you. Maybe on another podcast, I will tell you how my husband circled back around a better man, a more committed case, and the cause and how he got me to say yes, a second time. All right. Mrs. Cherry, what do you want to add to that?

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: I tell you that story blessed me when we were sharing it one with the other privately and it blessed me again as she shared it with you. I want women to know that we're made in the image and the likeness of God. [00:16:00] God made us to have what I shared in earlier teachings, a response mechanism.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: We will respond to the opposite sex. We are going to respond. The only thing we're telling you is to learn how to use that response mechanism godly. God made us responders so that we could respond to His voice, respond to the word of God, respond to godly causes, and respond to the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Amen. And not so that we would respond in ungodly situations and circumstances. God made us to be good, look good, and act good. Some of us might feel like we have missed that original purpose so badly that we can't be restored, but you can.

Rev. Michele Owes: Amen.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: You're never so far away. You've never dug yourself in [00:17:00] such a hole that you can't be restored with the word of God.

Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. Amen.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: I told the women they were precious, like a gold mine. They had treasure, far above anything on earth. God compares the woman with Ruby and the two things that are just, unattainable, almost in the natural realm.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: I used to joke with the women and say, listen, you have to stop letting these no-good Miners go in and dig in your gold mine. Every time they do, you feel like you've been devalued, you've lost some of your value, but there's nothing that you've done that God can't restore. What we want you to do and to know is that whatever it is, we want you to love God so [00:18:00] much that in the midst of your challenge, in the midst of your Mr. Goodbar walking out you can say, God, I love you.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: God, I've got you. I don't care about him, it, her, or whatever. I've got you, and I'm at peace. And because of your words, I can let go and let God. That's a true story that Reverend Owes just told us. God is no respecter of persons as he gave her an example of what to do and how to handle this situation. And as he comforted and strengthened her heart and put joy in her heart, he'd do the same thing for you.

Rev. Michele Owes: He will.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: On the retreat, I think I will share a similar story that happened to me. I was, I was in my widowed state, and I think that that [00:19:00] would be something that would be interesting for the widows to know.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: It doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter what you look like, really. It doesn't matter how big you are or how skinny you are. It doesn't matter. We are women, and we all have response mechanisms. We all have to work daily to have such a close relationship with God that nobody can come between that relationship and our holy God, who is our Father.

Rev. Michele Owes: Hmm.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: God expects us to call on Him. He'll answer.

Rev. Michele Owes: Yes.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: He'll support us. He'll get us through it and on the other side. You'll just laugh and wonder how on earth I got through that challenge. That was a big challenge.

Rev. Michele Owes: Yes,

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: God will work it out.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: That's not just a song of emotion. God will [00:20:00] work it out. God will fix it. He will work it out. He will fix hearts and regulate minds. He will strengthen you. He will support you. He will lead you in that path of righteousness for His name's sake. And you'll just wonder, God, how did we do this?

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Well, we didn't. He did.

Rev. Michele Owes: That's, that is so true.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Be encouraged.

Rev. Michele Owes: God was crafting my husband to be a pastor. I didn't know. God couldn't even trust me to know. I had no idea. Me walking away at that moment, with joy in my heart, was also a testament to Him that in a close relationship with the Lord, no matter what is going on, you can still let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yeah,

[00:21:00] Rev. Michele Owes: I am certain he never witnessed anything like that before. When we are in a situation where, you know, it's dragging out, there is no joy in it. It's, it's, it's hard. We were not one; we were not married. It could very well be because he's still on the potter's wheel and you keep trying to pick him off. Let

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Right. Mm

Rev. Michele Owes: Let God mold him. I don't know that I had the concept that God would fix my husband and bring him back. I didn't pray that prayer because, remember, I thought there was a next humdinger that would be better. and I was running. My point is that God knew what he had planned to do. I didn't. He couldn't trust me to know. Sometimes, you're in a situation and your request may not be denied. It could be delayed. Maybe [00:22:00] God is still working. We're still trying to pick the fruit off the branch and God's like, wait, back up. Leave him alone. I still have some work to do. I didn't say he couldn't be with you. I'm saying not now. Don't press him. You get him now and we may never get him back. Just leave him alone. We have to be willing to step away from some things sometimes.

Rev. Michele Owes: Not just push for what we want.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Right,

Rev. Michele Owes: God has a desire for every child that's on the earth. Every son and every daughter.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yeah.

Rev. Michele Owes: Allow God to finish his work first. Yes, you do.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: That reminds me of the story of the rich young ruler.

Rev. Michele Owes: Yes.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: He went away sad, but my husband explained that Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell what he had and give. He didn't tell him [00:23:00] to give it all away. He just said give. And the rich young ruler couldn't let go of what he had. He had more value for it than he had trust in God and what God could do with the little bit that he would give up.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: He went away sad, but God didn't say sell everything you got and get everything that you got to the poor. He said to sell and give just a percentage, just a little bit, but he could not see beyond his emotions and his riches. So that's a wonderful story. And I know it's going to bless many, many, many men and women as they hear this podcast.

Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. Thank you so much for being with me again today; we will be back for more relationships. You stay tuned. We're going to cover several areas. We're going to talk about the family relationship as [00:24:00] well because that affects our marital relationships and our romantic relationships and cultural influences, as well as how those affect them.

Rev. Michele Owes: My husband used to say that when a man and a woman show up at the altar to get married, there are two invisible trunks behind you. Neither one of you knew what was in the other person's trunk. Our founding Episcopal pastor used to call it unknown knowns. You know there's something back there, but the other person doesn't know that it's back there.

Rev. Michele Owes: You think that you're just in a gown, and he's in a tux, but there's some weight back there that both of you are pulling to the altar. But once you get into that, the two become one, and you move in together, the trunk opens, and stuff just starts popping out. Some of it's cultural, some of it's from family situations and things that you have said never again.

[00:25:00] Rev. Michele Owes: The other person is working against these fortresses that we built because of our past experiences. You work to figure out how to get the walls down. As Miss Cherry said, as we are sharing with you, it's not an overnight process. It's going to be moment by moment, and according to the scripture, it says by precept,

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Line upon line, precept upon precept. Yeah.

Rev. Michele Owes: Yes.

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yeah.

Rev. Michele Owes: We love you because of how much God has loved us. Because of His love, we can pour into you. Hang tight with us as we receive our instructions for moments to share with you. All right, Mrs. Cherry, do you want to close us out?

Rev. Diana P. Cherry: I love you so much. I can't wait to see you on the retreat. Be encouraged, whatever it is. God knows you. He knows the situation. He [00:26:00] sees. He hears and will deliver you and make a way out of no way.

Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. He will do all of that. We love you. See you on the next podcast. Thank you for listening. Bye.