Teachers of Good Things - Part 5

TEACHERS OF GOOD THINGS - P5 Transcript

00:00:02 Rev. Michele Owes

All right, welcome back to Teachers of Good Things. This is Reverend Michele Owes. I am with Mrs. Diana P. Cherry who wants to be referred to as Mrs. That is her preferred name. We could call her Reverend. We could call her doctor. We could call her mom Cherry. We could say a lot of things, but she prefers Mrs. and that is okay with me. She earned the right. Without even consciously knowing it, we walked into the widow's walk a little bit.

00:00:37 Rev. Diana Cherry

We did and it was fun.

00:00:40 Rev. Michele Owes

It was fun, but we don't want to leave you there. We want to talk about what to do when a situation that you don't expect occurs in your life. It hurts you and we want you to know how to handle it.

00:00:42 Rev. Diana Cherry

Yes, it is unexpected and something that can cause you to pause. We want to make sure that you still know that God is with you.

00:00:48 Rev. Michele Owes

We are going to share, from our hearts, how we worked through the difficulty of the loss of our husbands. Yes. I'm going to start with the example of my husband and I, riding on a tandem bike. I talked with Mrs. Cherry about this the other night. It's a bicycle built for two. If you don't know my husband, Pastor Joseph Owes, who pastored from the Heart Church Ministries of Pomona, my husband was a former football player. He had a very broad back. When we were riding on this bicycle built for two, I couldn't see in front of me. I could only see to the left and the right. We were riding on the streets of Long Beach. I had to thoroughly trust that he was going in the right direction, and I realized that was also the story of our lives and ministry. We were called out of the world and from our secular jobs that paid good money to go into the Gospel. I had to trust that he heard from God correctly and be willing to submit to the call on his life. So, we're on this bicycle. Back to the natural example, I realize I can only see what's on the right and what's on the left. And God is reminding me while I am sitting back there that He's responsible for the direction of my life, and my job is to follow. I'm thinking, okay. I noticed you and I said two things. Two different things. You say, when he left me, it was as though he had a choice. I say when my husband went home to be with the Lord. Because I know he wouldn't leave me. That's a joke. That's a joke. I'm sure once he saw the new heaven and the new Earth, he was like, take me now, Jesus! I realized when my husband left this natural earth, there was no one in front of me anymore. There was no one else responsible for the direction. There was no one else. You know, if I failed to pray that day, I knew he had it. He was there. All of what I had trusted, if you will, was gone in the natural realm. I had to rekindle and reconnect to the type of relationship I had with the Lord before my husband came. When I say reestablished, I was never fearful or had any trepidation about my life because I knew the Lord was guiding me. With a husband, I knew the Lord was guiding him, and all I had to do was follow. It was well with my soul, right? But I remember distinctly getting up one day, something happened, and I was thinking, I’ve got to tell my husband. He's got to pray about this. The Lord said, nay, nay. This is you now. This is on you.

It wasn't that my prayer life was absent. I have a wonderful pastor. I am in the Houston area at From the Heart Church Ministries of Houston. When there are major issues in my life, I will call my pastor. I will ask for his input into the issues of my life. I know he's a praying man who trusts God. When my husband left the earth, Bishop became my pastor. All the plans that I thought God had given me, I ran them by Bishop. When he agreed with the plans, he also gave me some suggestions. And interestingly, they were not the same ones that he gives all the time.

00:04:55 Rev. Diana Cherry

Like what? What to do when someone goes home to be the Lord?

00:04:58 Rev. Owes

Like moving and major purchases, don’t do them in the first 12 months. My instructions were completely different. He said, I know. I agree with what God is doing with you. Then I moved forward with the plans. I said all that to say this, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He was the same to me before I met my husband as He was while I was with him, as He is today while I'm sitting here with you.

00:05:26 Rev. Diana Cherry

He's a God that does not change and His care for us does not dwindle. It doesn't diminish. You know, we get older, and the body diminishes some. It doesn't react the same, but God is still the same. So, I do want to share that with you, that the pain that you feel will heal in time. It will never be the same.

00:05:49 Rev. Michele Owes

Nope, cannot be.

00:05:51 Rev. Diana Cherry

But well, it can still be really good because God is good.

00:05:53 Rev. Michele Owes

Yes, yes. Take it away.

00:05:56 Rev. Diana Cherry

What to do when the unexpected happens? I think that to be prepared for the unexpected, you need to have a plan for your life apart from the unexpected things that might happen. I needed to know who I was before Pastor Cherry left me to go to heaven. I needed to know that. See, my husband and I got saved together. We were married when we got saved. We were married and unsaved in the church. Loved the Lord. We were just saved when we were called into the ministry. All of our growth has been together. I never in my wildest dreams ever had any vision of living a life without John Cherry. John was a very strong man, very opinionated, very much a leader and a take-charge person. I've always, by nature, been somewhat submissive. You know, if that's what you want to do, do it. I guess the biggest thing that happened in terms of the unexpected was the decisions that I had to make, the things that I needed to liquidate, and the downsizing that I needed to do to continue to function. That was the biggest thing because I'd never made the decisions. People want to call me the founding mother of the church. I've never found anything in my life. I've given birth to two children. I was a helpmeet to my husband. I don't view myself as being a founder of anything. I was my husband's wife. I tried to be the best possible helpmeet to him. I always saw my role as doing whatever I could to further God's plan for his life, and I've always been so comfortable with that.

00:08:02 Rev. Michele Owes

Yes.

00:08:06 Rev. Diana Cherry

I guess for me the biggest shock is just that I'm not a helpmeet.

00:08:09 Rev. Michele Owes

Yes. But you are. Look, you are helping women right now. Maybe not as a helpmeet to your husband, but you are still helping the Body of Christ. Right at this moment, you’re with me. I've been honored to have you with me for these last few days. I'm learning from you every moment. You are dropping seeds of wisdom around for me to grow from. The teachable nature of our lives never ends.

00:08:39 Rev. Diana Cherry

Yes, that's true. I think it is the biggest thing I have to deal with. And if I sound teary, it's because I am.

00:08:40 Rev. Michele Owes

That's one of the beautiful things about when the Lord touches us. You know He's touched by our emotions, and then there are times that we're touched by His. His love for you has never dwindled. We do have to make these decisions. When I decided to move halfway across the country. It was a thing. Today, I'm thankful.

00:09:07 Rev. Diana Cherry

I prayed for you.

00:09:19 Rev. Michele Owes

I'm thankful. This is not even a place where my husband and I thought of retiring. We already had our plans for where we were going, and what we were going to do. But, when God directed my life, it wasn't in that direction. And so, it was a mid-course correction, if you will.

00:09:39 Rev. Diana Cherry

Yes, yes.

00:09:58 Rev. Michele Owes

The founding EP talked about that all the time. There are times when God must make a mid-course correction in our lives. Where He sent me was like a mid-course correction from where I was going with my husband. Now you're going where I need you to go, and where I need you to be.

You and I have been talking for years about getting together as you traveled from one end of the country to the other. It was my mid-course direction that brought you here today.

00:10:05 Rev. Diana Cherry

Right. Yes. It's bringing us together to be able to share with other women. Yes, to share some of our pains and some of our sorrows. Because you are a Christian, or because you are a pastor's wife, or because you work in ministry does not mean you're exempt from life.

00:10:26 Rev. Michele Owes

Exactly.

00:10:38 Rev. Diana Cherry

I don't know if it's been difficult, it's just different. Yeah, you know. But I know I have a purpose. And I'm grateful for this opportunity.

00:10:38 Rev. Michele Owes

Amen. You deserve it and so much more. You have a great purpose, and God still has a plan for you and me. You know, we won't be holding onto their arms anymore, but I'll grab your elbow and we'll walk in there together.

00:11:00 Rev. Diana Cherry

Right.

00:11:08 Rev. Michele Owes

I did a homegoing service for my sister-in-law. One of her sons passed away. It would be something that my husband would normally do for his family. When I showed up, I came in the door by myself. She realized for the first time that I was alone. She said she wondered if I was enough. She said, once you got in that place, and you begin to teach the gospel, she said I had not missed a beat. God is still in her and working through her. She said you were more than enough. We’ve learned that as we get to the places God desires for us to be, we're more than enough.

00:11:40 Rev. Diana Cherry

Yes, for where he has placed us.

00:11:43 Rev Michele Owes

He shows up and directs us.

00:12:03 Rev. Diana Cherry

I understand that you cannot plan for your husband's death unless he’s sick or it's expected. You know? Mine was unexpected. I mean, now he's here this morning and on his way to the doctor for a simple test. And then in the afternoon, he's gone. You are waiting for him to come out. Then that is it? You get to the hospital, and you see them and you see these brown arms?

00:12:14 Rev. Owes

Yes.

00:12:37 Rev. Diana Cherry

I see them working to resuscitate this brown-armed person who looks like my husband. I said to the doctor, why were you resuscitating him? My husbands never had a heart problem, but the aspiration, the vomiting, the aspiration caused all kinds of damage. You know you really must trust God. You always have hope. God will quickly inform you that it's not yours to question. Like you said, he is my child. I can bring him home whenever I want to. I love that.

00:12:52 Rev. Michele Owes

That's right and I don't have to check with you.

00:12:54 Rev. Diana Cherry

Right.

00:12:58 Michele Owes

I always thought it was so interesting that I watched a whole person go into that hospital. I couldn't go with him because it was the beginning of COVID in our country. Our medical facilities and professionals did not know how to handle it. They didn't know what to do. I was not allowed to go into the hospital. I wasn't allowed to be with him.

00:13:10 Rev. Diana Cherry

Right.

00:13:22 Rev. Michele Owes

We hugged and had our moments at the door as they left with him, the ambulance. He would call me every day. We would talk. The doctor had said that he was improving. I was preparing for him to come home and be on the 1st floor of the house rather than on the 2nd. He had a caveat with it, he said, if he continues in this pattern. That stayed in the back of my mind if he continued in this pattern.

00:13:56 Rev. Diana Cherry

Right.

00:13:58 Rev. Michele Owes

When he passed, they wanted me to come to the hospital the same day to get his belongings. They didn't even want his belongings to stay there. They wanted me to come and get him the same day because they didn't know what to do about anything. But the doctor cried on the phone with me. He told me he had done all he could. He realized who my husband was because he was talking to them before being put on a respirator.

00:14:39 Rev. Diana Cherry

He was probably giving them a call of salvation.

00:14:41 Rev. Michele Owes

He was. They knew who he was. Yeah, and I didn't have to tell him. I said all that to say that God was in every moment. I remember walking out of the hospital. I came to get his things. It was just this bag. The nurse said Mrs. Owes, we tried with everything in us to get that ring off his finger, but we could not. I started laughing. I said that's my husband trying to tell me I'm still your husband and that he's still married to me though he may not be here in the natural world. No worries, I said. When the funeral home picks him up, they'll make sure that I get the ring. There were so many things that God did to encourage me along the way to make me know that this was not a punishment to me.

00:15:47 Rev. Michele Owes

But then, why would I think that a God who loves me, who would wait on me to be kind to me, would punish me with the death of my husband? Yeah, that's how far off our thinking can be in terms of when things happen in our lives that are not pleasant to us. We can begin to see God in the wrong light.

00:16:06 Rev. Diana Cherry

Oh my. Yes Wow! I never thought about that.

00:16:16 Rev. Owes

It's our thinking. It's not God's thinking. Why would a holy God punish me? Who loves me?

00:16:22 Rev. Diana Cherry

Oh my. This session has been interesting and quick. Goodness.

00:16:24 Rev. Michele Owes

Okay, this was Part 2 of the Widows Walk without us knowing. We are so thankful that you all were with us, and we pray that some of what we have shared brings joy to your heart, gives you some answers, and clears up some questions. Our Episcopal pastor used to say, that some questions need answers. We pray that some of the questions in your heart were answered today. We'll see you on our next podcast. Thank you. We love you.

00:16:52 Rev. Diana Cherry

Keep praying for us.