Through it all, God's Love Never Waivered
Teachable Woman Podcast
Relationships Part 10-Through it all, God's Love Never Waivered
Reverends Michele Owes and Diana P. Cherry
Introduction:
In this episode of the Teachable Woman Podcast, Reverends Michele Owes and Diana P. Cherry, also known as the Teachers of Good Things, engage in a thoughtful discussion about relationships, specifically touching on the topics of divorce, patience, forgiveness, and godly living in challenging situations. The reverends provide spiritual insights and practical advice on how to navigate the complexities of life, especially when dealing with separation, whether it's from a spouse or co-parent. Through their transparent sharing, they encourage listeners to keep Christ at the center of their lives, regardless of circumstances.
Key Points and Highlights:
I. Reflections on Divorce
Rev. Michele Owes and Rev. Diana P. Cherry revisit their recent discussions on divorce, emphasizing that while divorce is a choice, it carries consequences. They remind listeners that even after divorce, especially with children involved, ex-spouses remain part of each other’s lives, and Christians must continue to treat them with respect as children of God.
II. POP Living: Patience and Grace
Rev. Cherry summarizes the concept of "POP Living" – putting on patience. This practice encourages individuals to respond to challenging situations with grace, patience, and a spirit-led approach, allowing God to guide their responses, even when others push emotional buttons.
III. The Temporary Nature of Life's Storms
Both reverends highlight the biblical phrase "it came to pass," noting that life’s difficulties are temporary. Just like storms that cause damage but eventually pass, personal challenges must be navigated with faith, patience, and wisdom, trusting that God will provide the strength to move forward.
IV. The Importance of Respect in Communication
A major theme of the discussion revolves around communication, especially in conflict. Rev. Owes emphasizes that the way parents communicate with each other has a lasting impact on children. She encourages respectful dialogue, particularly to ensure children are not negatively influenced or harmed by disrespectful behavior.
V. Responsibility and Grace in Relationships
Rev. Cherry reminds listeners not to carry unnecessary burdens or guilt, especially when things don’t work out in a marriage. She emphasizes that God’s grace is sufficient to help people through these trials and that one’s personal worth isn’t diminished by a failed relationship.
VI. The Role of Children in Separation
Both reverends strongly advise against using children as pawns in marital or co-parenting conflicts. They stress that, as long as children are safe, both parents should have a meaningful relationship with them. This ensures balanced development and prevents long-term emotional harm.
VII. God's Unconditional Love
In closing, Rev. Owes and Rev. Cherry remind their audience that God’s love remains constant, no matter their circumstances. Whether divorced, widowed, or single, listeners are reassured that they are deeply loved and valued by God, and He has a plan for their lives, regardless of past choices or challenges.
Summary:
This episode of the Teachable Woman Podcast provides spiritual guidance on handling difficult life situations, especially divorce and relationship struggles. Reverends Michele Owes and Diana P. Cherry emphasize the importance of patience, grace, and respect in relationships, while also reminding listeners of God’s unconditional love and the fleeting nature of life's challenges. They encourage keeping faith at the center of all decisions and interactions, promoting healing, personal growth, and positive relationships, especially for the sake of children.
Transcript
Teachable Woman Podcast
Teachers of Good Things:
Relationships Part 11: Through it all, God's Love Never Waivered
Rev. Michele Owes [00:00:00]:
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Teachable Woman podcast. We are so excited to be back with you today. I am Reverend Michele Owes, and I am with the one and only Reverend Mrs. Deanna P. Cherry, and together we are Teachers of Good Things. Mrs. Cherry, greet our guest.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry:
Hello, listeners. We want you to know that we appreciate your tuning into the podcast so very, very much. And we pray that you will continue to tune in. We also pray that everything we say will be a blessing to you and make a difference in your life. We do our best to give you the best that God has given to us to share with you. And we just pray that you'll continue to be a part of the listening congregation of our podcast.
Rev. Michele Owes [00:01:00]:
Amen. Well, we're going to do a brief recap of what we've covered in our last couple of podcasts. We covered the subject of divorce, which Mrs. Cherry and I made very clear that we were not as comfortable, if you will, with the discussions. One is because we wanted to give you God's best, and we didn't want to answer you based on the thoughts of our minds.
We wanted to answer you based on the Word of God, and we understood from what we shared that divorce is a choice, and we have the right to make the choice. And we hope that none of our discussions gave you the impression that you didn't have the right to make the choice. You do have the right to make the choice.
We talked about the fact that, you know, certainly if there's any level of abuse, whether it's physical or mental, you have the right to make that choice. But what we also wanted to share was that we don't get to choose the consequences. Many who have gone through divorce believed it would allow them to have complete separation from that other person—that they would just be gone from their lives.
But that's not exactly how it works, particularly if you have children. Or if your lives are intertwined in ways that you didn't know—they'd be showing up at every wedding, baby shower, and graduation. You were looking for a kind of freedom that you may have paid for, but you still don't have.
And so, we wanted you to know that even with that, we're still Christians. And we have to treat our ex-spouses as children of the Most High God and joint heirs with Christ Jesus. God still has that expectation for us. But more than that, we wanted each of us to know that there was something called Pop Living that Mrs. Cherry talked to us about. Mrs. Cherry, remind us about Pop Living.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry [00:03:00]:
Pop Living is to live a life where you put on patience, remembering that each of us has a will. And the will, I call it the divine center of choice. We can choose to do a lot of different things in life, and we do choose to do a lot of different things in life. But we have to realize that we can make a choice, but we cannot choose the consequences of that choice.
If you know in your heart that you've done everything that you know to do, and you've tried to be the very best spouse that you can be, and that person chooses to leave you, that person has a free will, and there's nothing we can do about that. We can resolve in our hearts to put on patience, and not let the actions of others negatively influence our response to what they did. They have a choice in how they act, and we have a choice in how we respond to their actions.
More than anything, Reverend Owes and I just want to encourage you to keep Jesus as the center of your joy, the center of life, and put on patience with that other person.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry [00:05:00]:
And sometimes, you know, if you know how to pray in the Spirit and you're about to meet that person for some business talk or whatever, you really have to pray in the Spirit. You really have to put on patience because I believe some people, they know us well, and they know absolutely what buttons to push to make us, as my mother used to say, fly off the handle. I don't know where the handle is, and I don't know exactly what she meant by it, but really put on patience.
You may come to that meeting, prayed up, saying, "Lord, I don't care what he or she says this time; I've got it. I'm not going to get upset." And inevitably, that person will say the one thing you weren't prepared for, like my mama would say, and you just fly off the handle. Don't do it. Just stop, think about what you're thinking about, seek the Lord, and pray fervently. Then put on patience. You don't have to be anxious, excited, or vile in your response. You can be loving and patient. Sometimes showing loving kindness is enough to catch them off guard.
Rev. Michele Owes [00:06:00]:
That's pretty good! We also talked about the fact that scripture repeatedly says it came to pass, meaning that the storms and difficulties we have in life don’t come to stay—they come to pass. We talked about the storms that happened here in Texas, and Mrs. Cherry talked about the storms in Maryland—how they came through, did their damage, and were gone.
Difficulties in life are like that. They come through, they leave us challenges to work through, and it’s our job to work through those challenges with the Lord to the best of our ability. Then it's gone, and we move on to the next challenge, right?
. [00:07:00] Difficulties in life are like that. They come through, they leave us challenges to work through, and it's our job to work through those challenges with the Lord to the best of our ability. And then it's gone. We're on to the next challenge, right?
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, yes. And we talked about the importance of keeping our focus on God during those storms. You know, the storms, they come, but the Bible says they came to pass. They don’t come to stay. And while they may leave some clean up in their wake, it’s essential that we turn to the Lord to help us through that cleanup.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Absolutely. After every storm, there’s always a process of cleaning up. Every challenge, after every upset, there's a process of cleaning up. [00:08:00] Cleaning up our thinking, cleaning up our regard for that person, especially if you have children. That person is still the father or mother, and you have a responsibility to be kind and to show the love of the Lord. You may not be able to have that intimate love anymore, but you can still show the agape love of the Lord toward that person. And that's what we strive to do.
Rev. Michele Owes: Amen, amen. And the thing we wanted to emphasize is that the children are watching. The children are watching how we respond to one another. The children are watching what we say. And, you know, we live in a society today where we don't know what people will do. I always kept it in mind. I didn’t want my daughters to speak to anyone, particularly men, in a way that could eventually cause them harm. [00:09:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: If they didn’t learn to speak respectfully, even when angry or upset, they might run into the wrong person who won't take that conversation the way our spouse or an ex-spouse would. I wanted to temper my words and stay calm in my conversations, such that there was always a level of respect.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes, so true. And the same goes for how we speak to our sons and model respectful communication for them. I used to teach the women in my ministry, and I may have shared this on the podcast before, but the Lord spoke to my heart many years ago. He asked, "If you were married to Jesus Christ and it was your responsibility to send Him out to do His ministry work for the day, what kind of mood would He be in after leaving your presence? What kind of woman would you be to Him?" [00:10:00]
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: That spoke volumes to me. And those kinds of reflections help guide Reverend Owes and me to be the best wives and the best people we could be. My husband wasn’t perfect; I know mine wasn’t.
Rev. Michele Owes: Mine wasn’t either.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: But as wives, we had a responsibility to create peace in the home, to create a loving atmosphere so that our husbands could leave the house and minister to others without distractions or worries about what was happening at home. That was very important to me, and I believe it made a difference in my life. I hope it made a difference in John’s life, too.
Rev. Michele Owes: When you mentioned that, the first thing that came to my mind was, you know, slashing tires or breaking windshields and putting nails out—but we’re not talking about that. [00:11:00] We’re talking about the small things we do to ensure we are not adding to the stress in their lives. And it’s not about judgment, whether you’re divorced or not, widowed, unmarried, or hopeful for marriage.
Rev. Michele Owes: We want you to know that God created you with a purpose and a plan, and He loves you without regard to your relationship status. His love is unfailing. He will never leave you nor forsake you. And as much as we loved our husbands, neither of us wanted to be with each other every single moment of the day. We all needed our moments away. [00:12:00] Through it all, God was with us, and His love never wavered. You are never alone, and we want to remind you of that.
Rev. Michele Owes: Life is full of challenges, and most of what you see on social media is not real. It’s scripted. What people post online are the best moments of their lives, but everyone has challenges, and no one’s life is perfect. We want you to know that challenges are a part of life, but they don’t have to define your life. And you don’t have to define your relationship by its challenges. One of the things my husband and I learned in marriage enrichment is that when things get rough around you, remind each other that there’s nothing wrong with you and me. A lot is happening around us, but nothing is wrong with you and me.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: That’s powerful. That’s such good advice. And another piece of advice my husband used to share is, when you’re making decisions, never communicate horizontally. Always go vertical. Go up to God, pray about it, and bring it back down. When it reaches the other person, it’ll be a lot easier to receive. [00:13:00]
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: And I just want to add, don’t carry unnecessary burdens. Whether you’re a widow like us or going through a divorce, you didn’t cause the death of your spouse, and it’s not because of something you did or didn’t do. My husband used to say that sometimes the body becomes the worst enemy. When that happens, it’s time to lay that body down and go home to be with the Lord.
Rev. Michele Owes: That’s right.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: So, don’t take on more than you should. God gave us grace for a reason, so we could face life’s difficulties without being crushed. Grace is God’s omnipotent power working on our behalf.
[00:14:00] Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we didn’t do anything wrong and shouldn’t carry the weight of those burdens.
Rev. Michele Owes: Amen, and it’s so important to remember that God loves us and is not holding anything against us because of our circumstances. Whether we are widowed, divorced, or otherwise, His love remains the same. We are still loved, still valuable, still individuals in God’s eyes.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Exactly. And just as you don’t need to carry unnecessary burdens, it’s also important not to use the children as pawns in difficult relationships, whether that’s through a divorce or a relationship that didn’t work out. Children need both parents, and they need to see us treating each other with respect, no matter the situation. [00:15:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, yes. So true. And if you are co-parenting, as long as you know that your children will be safe and cared for, allow them to have a relationship with both parents. Don’t stand in the way of that relationship, and don’t speak ill of the other parent in front of your children. God still expects us to treat each other as His children, no matter what has happened between us.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Amen. It’s not just about divorce. Even if you had a child out of wedlock, if the other parent is good to the child and involved, don’t stand in the way of that relationship. Examine your heart and ensure you’re not being unnecessarily harsh or antagonistic toward that person, especially regarding the child’s well-being. [00:16:00] You want to create the best possible environment for that child, no matter what your personal feelings might be toward the other parent.
Rev. Michele Owes: [00:16:00] And it's so important to always keep the focus on the child’s well-being, not on the personal feelings we may have toward the other parent. Children need both parents, and even if the relationship between you and the other parent doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean the child should suffer.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes, it’s about maturity. It’s about choosing the higher road. And honestly, if you can demonstrate that kind of grace and maturity in front of your children, it will do wonders for them as they grow up. They will learn what it looks like to navigate difficult situations with grace, to show love and respect even when things are hard. And that's one of the greatest gifts you can give them. [00:17:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Absolutely. And that leads us to the importance of forgiveness. Now, forgiveness doesn’t mean that what the person did was okay. It doesn’t mean that you forget. But it does mean that you release yourself from the burden of carrying that weight. Unforgiveness only harms you. It doesn’t affect the other person nearly as much as it affects you.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: That’s so true. I’ve heard it said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It doesn’t work that way. When you forgive, you free yourself. You allow yourself to move forward, heal, and receive the blessings that God has for you. Holding onto bitterness or anger blocks those blessings. [00:18:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, and sometimes it takes time to get to that place of forgiveness, and that’s okay. God knows your heart. He knows what you’re going through, and He’s patient with us. But it’s vital that we aim to reach that point of forgiveness, not just for the other person’s sake, but for our peace.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: If I can add to that, sometimes forgiveness is an ongoing process. You might think you’ve forgiven someone, and then something happens to stir up old emotions, and you find yourself back at square one. But that’s okay. Forgiveness isn’t always a one-time event. Sometimes, it’s a journey, and that’s alright. Just keep turning to God, praying for the strength to forgive, and He will help you through it. [00:19:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. It’s a process, and God is with us every step of the way. And as you go through that process, remember to extend grace to yourself. We are all human, and we all have moments where we struggle. But God’s grace is sufficient for us. His power is made perfect in our weakness.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes. And one of the things I’ve learned over the years is that, when I lean on God’s strength instead of my own, I experience the most growth. It’s in those moments of weakness, when I have to rely on Him, that He shows me just how strong He is. And that’s where real transformation happens. [00:20:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Absolutely. God can turn our pain into purpose. What we go through isn’t in vain. There’s a reason for it, and God can use it to help us grow, to strengthen our faith, and to make us more like Him. So, no matter what you’re going through right now, just know that God has a plan, and He’s working everything out for your good.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Amen. And I know that can be hard to hear when you’re in the middle of a storm. It’s not always easy to see how God is working when everything feels like it’s falling apart. But that’s where faith comes in. We walk by faith, not by sight. We trust that God is in control, even when we can’t see the full picture.
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, it’s about trusting God’s timing and His plan. He’s never late. He’s always right on time. Even when it feels like we’ve been waiting forever, God knows exactly when to step in and make things happen. [00:21:00]
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: And that brings us back to patience, doesn’t it? We talked about patience earlier, and it’s so important in our walk with God. Sometimes, we just have to wait. And waiting isn’t easy. But when we wait on the Lord, He renews our strength. He gives us what we need to keep going.
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, and in those moments of waiting, God is often doing something in us, preparing us for what’s to come. So, if you’re in a season of waiting right now, just know that God is working behind the scenes. He’s preparing something amazing for you, and when the time is right, He’ll reveal it to you.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Amen. And while we wait, we can focus on growing in our relationship with God. We can use that time to draw closer to Him, to seek His will for our lives, and to trust that He has everything under control. [00:22:00]
Rev. Michele Owes: Yes, and that’s such a key point. When we focus on God, everything else falls into place. When we make Him our priority, He takes care of the rest. It’s all about putting our trust in Him, no matter the circumstances.
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Exactly. And that’s what we want to encourage everyone listening today to do. No matter what you’re facing, or the challenges or difficulties you may be going through, remember to focus on God. He’s your source of strength and peace, and He’s the one who will see you through.
Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. God is faithful, and He’s with you every step of the way. You are never alone. He will never leave you nor forsake you. And as long as you keep your eyes on Him, you will make it through. [00:23:00]
Rev. Diana P. Cherry: Yes, and that’s a perfect note to end on. We hope that today’s discussion has been a blessing to you, and we pray that you will continue to trust in God and lean on Him in every area of your life.
Rev. Michele Owes: Amen. Thank you so much for joining us today, and we look forward to being with you again next time. Remember, God loves you, and He has a plan and a purpose for your life. Stay blessed.
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